Friendship is a very important topic in everybody’s life. I’m sure you can talk for hours about your friends and what friendship means to you. It is really hard to live your life without friends. We all have friends, some are closer than others. What does friendship mean to you? How many people in your life can you consider as real friends? How many people can call you a close friend? Just think a bit about all these questions.
There is a theory that everybody who comes to our life comes for a reason. When we meet someone and we become friends, it is not a coincidence. Everybody who comes into your life comes with reasons to teach you something, to support you in that period of your life, to give you a very important experience or to teach you a lesson. I strongly believe in these things. Friends are like human angels sent by God to help us in a particular situation or in a certain period of our life. A lot of scientists and writers wrote that our thoughts influence on what we receive in our life. This is known as the law of attraction.
How can we implement this to friendship? It is very easy. If you think that you can’t trust any friend, then you will not have any trustworthy friends in your life. If you think that everybody wants to be your friends just for benefits, then you will only attract and meet this type of friends. But if you think that people want to have friendship with you because of your interesting personality and because they share common interests with you, you will more probably meet more people with these characteristics and you will become friends.
For some people, it is really hard to have friends, and especially to find new ones, whereas it is really easy for others. I met some people in my life who are like a magnet, people wanted to become their friends and, they had a lot of friends everywhere around the globe. I met totally opposite ones too. They wanted to have friends, become popular, but nobody cared about them. Why? What’s the difference between these two personalities? The answer is very easy, the secret is in their attitude and thoughts. One is sure that it is easy to have friends everywhere around the world, they believe that every person has something interesting inside. The other type of people think that it’s not easy to have real friends, he or she is so convinced that it’s not easy to find somebody similar to them. It is so sad, they lose so much fun and great evenings with friends.
Everybody can have great friends. If you are honest and treat people the same way you want to be treated, then you can have friends. I believe that friendships show in quality, not in quantity. It is much better to have a few but trustful, supportive and real friends. It’s not possible to have a lot of “close friends”.
Usually, you can have from two to five close friends. It is very general statistics. Some people can have more, whereas some other people can has just one. It is up to you to have as many friends as you want, to put into the “close friends” level, but be honest with yourself. Friendship is responsibility too. You can’t expect having a great friend without being a great friend in return. Be clear. If you see that somebody would like to become your friend, don’t push that person away, maybe that person really needs you now and can become the most trustful of your friends later. You never know what can happen in life and how things can change. Sometimes this person can become closer and the most helpful when you need somebody near.
People say that friends can be tested at difficult situations in life. I would say that friends are tested continuously in all different situations. It is so painful and disappointing to get to the stage where you’ll need to filter your friends. Imagine you trust your friend and you are ready to do anything to him when he needs you, but he disappoints you when you need him. This is when you need to think again about your friendship and you might find yourself obliged to do some filtering. I wish you never have to do it in your life, and I hope you never feel this. I wish you have great friends.
Here’s what good friend mean to me, or in other words, what’s important to me in friendship.
A good friend is:
- A good friend needs to be there for you in any situation in life.
I don’t mean physically close. Sometimes a person can be thousands of kilometers away, but I can feel that he/she cares about me. Especially with modern internet technologies, it is so easy and so convenient.
- He/she should support me.
When it’s important to me, he/she should support me and my decisions. If he/she doesn’t agree with me about my decision, he/she can tell me his/hers opinion or point of view, but he/she shouldn’t be angry if I do what I think is the best for me. In any case, it is my life and I only take responsibilities for my decisions and acts.
- He/she should be honest with me.
I’m an honest person, so I want the same in return. I know that sometimes, it is much more painful to know the true than to hear a sweet lie, but I prefer the bitter truth. I am sure you would most probably prefer the same.
- We can share all secrets with each other and everything will stay between us.
This thing is really important in friendship. If you have a real good friend, he will listen to you, support you, help you… I remember a joke about this topic: two friends are meeting and one is telling other that she broke up with her boyfriend. The other one listened and said: “So what can I say to you about it?”. She answers: “Nothing, just listen to me and confirm how stupid he is that he lost me”.
With time, your expectations from your friends will change. When you’re young, you’re ready to do anything for them, so you expect the same back. When you grow older and have some partner in your life (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse), many things will change in your daily life. Sometimes, based on everybody’s busy schedule, you’re not able to spend as much time together with your friends as you used to before. Just try to understand each other, try to keep your friendship for those positive things which you get from it.
Many things start changing in your life after you get married. One of the great things is that your spouse will become your best friend. At least in healthy relationships where both of you decided to get married because you truly love each other. If you are in the boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationships now, your partner should ideally be your best friend. If you have a bit different experience in your relationship, you should seriously think about your partner and think if you’re making the right choice.
There so many jokes about wife and husband’s friendship. Women are much more emotional and they need to share what troubles them compared to men. The closest and the best listener is typically the husband. You talk and talk to him about what’s in your heart or what’s disturbing you, and ideally, he gives his opinion and supports you. But men make jokes that everything wife says comes through one ear and leaves through the other ear, and they can’t remember anything about what they heard from the wife. I strongly believe this is not true, but there’s always some truth in every joke.
If you start to feel that you’re not receiving any positive vibes from your friendship anymore, and you start feeling much more disappointment and troubles than happiness after meeting them, you should think if this is still a friendship. Maybe it became just a habit. Don’t keep it just because you spent so many years together before. Maybe that person did his/her role in your life. You need to free each other from that friendship. Of course you can stay friends, but on a different level…
I believe you have great friends. I hope your friendship becomes stronger with years and I wish you will never have any friendship disappointments.